Insecurity is a feeling of not being good enough of ourselves and/or not certain about ourselves. These are often the underlying overwhelming emotions that shape our self-image to think that we are different -in a negative sense. As a result, the perception of self deflates and affects our confidence level.
These thoughts and feelings trigger the feeling of inadequacy and helplessness as well, which profoundly impact various aspects of life. Insecurity usually stems from the magnification of the external self -as in- performances, evaluation, judgment, competitions, achievements, etc with great scrutiny.
Even though we experience insecurity on daily basis sometimes it sets-in with
- Difficult experiences in childhood,
- Attachment with the parental figure,
- A prolonged period of stress,
- An unexpected change in the life events,
- Fear of rejection/ failure,
- Sudden alterations in the belief system,
- Thought patterns etc.
Dealing with this distress influence our attitude and the attitude toward others resulting in perverse coping strategies. The chance to spread our insecurity on others, especially towards the people we care and love is likely to be high when the problem is unrecognized and unresolved.
Insecurity can be reflected as:
- Self-doubt, leading to low confidence
- Despite the accomplishments, accumulating signs of not being genuine enough
- Difficulty to accept that he/she deserves lasting love and assumes they would leave inevitably
- Overlooking own strengths in social situations and events
- Feeling guilty, boring, or incapable around others
- Negative self-thoughts and self-criticism etc.
The unnoticed and unidentified causes for insecurity often turn into anxiety, depression, relationship problems, etc. The lack of self-awareness will project in low-self esteem and negative self-image which also manifests in its ugliest form as inflated self-esteem as a coping strategy.
These can be seen as, not taking accountability for own mistake, blaming others easily, taking control of others, avoid social gatherings where enough attention is not given, etc.
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Commonly seen insecurities among us are :
- Attachment insecurity
- Job insecurity
- Social insecurity
- Insecurity is driven by perfectionism etc.
Ways to Overcome:
- Observing our thoughts and knowing where is it coming from will help us kick start the process of identifying the root cause and have a better sense of ourselves
- Self-talk or sharing feelings to whom you trust also can dent unwanted thoughts.
- Self-compassion and patience can make the process interesting.
- Beginning to self explore and delve deeper without help can be exhausting at times, but worth the effort, especially if these take a toll on your functioning.
- Seeking professional help without hesitation also help deal with the issue effectively and impair our functioning